Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
