me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
