I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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