What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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