so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
