I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
