Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
