thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
