He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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