sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
