i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
