It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
