remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
