I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
