i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
