please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
