I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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