No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
