playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
