It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
