Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
