I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
