Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
