Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
