My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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