End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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