everyone is single if you try hard enough
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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