It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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