i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
