she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
