Are we in a gay sports bar?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
