were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
