i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
