I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
