I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
