OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
