I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
