I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
accomplished twins. life is a go
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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