Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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