With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
