Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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