even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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