when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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