i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
