So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
