ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
P.S. I can't hear my feet
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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