Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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