I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
