OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
