Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
