so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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